She Cursed the Snow ~C.j.Sanders ’12

•12/07/2012 • Leave a Comment

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She cursed the snow
As if it were to blame
For her heart bleeding
Frigid crimson.

Smoke and ash mingled
With dream white flakes…
Her powdered heart
Mirrored in the fresh dusting,
Dissembled and undisturbed
In the dead of night, upon the ground.

She rolls  perfect sphere
But it is impossible
To pick up every fragment
Scattered over miles.

Millions of screams
Contained in her brain;
Frequencies off the decibel chart
Heard by no other soul.
Not even a god.

She cannot be saved.
She will melt away with the snow.
Her heart will come and
Go with the seasons.
She will forever curse
That cold,
Cold snow.

Confessions of a Suffering College Student ~C.j.Sanders ’12

•12/04/2012 • Leave a Comment

I don’t hunger for attention.
I seek only acknowledgement.
The complete cliche.
Overworked, under-appreciated
Exhausted and misused.

I am a woman trapped in a
Girl’s body.
Looked up to by few,
Down upon by many.
Frankenstein of Society.

Who am I?
What is my purpose?
Seems simple enough..
I am .. well. Me.
My purpose is to live.

But do we “live”
Or just survive?
I’d give my all
To feel just one thing.

Alive.

Star of Infidelity ~ C.j.Sanders ’12

•08/06/2012 • 4 Comments

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The Sun rapes the night again.
Shattering peaceful dreams.
The Moon shields her face in pain, 
Stifling horrific screams.

The pain is slow.
Feeds on weak.
Lips subtle brush
Across her cheek

Trailed with tears,
Wearing the mask of a cloud.
Resounding silence
Was never so loud.

He is happy,
See his glee?
Her broken soul,
The only fee.

If she had a heart, 
It’s surely dust. 
Powdered to chalk
Within her bust.

For the sake of Life,
She tries harder.
For the sake of Love,
Becomes a martyr.

A love so rogue
It can’t be right.
I’ll barter for
Eternal Night. 

Freudian Slip ~ C.j.Sanders ’12

•04/24/2012 • 2 Comments

Make no mistake,
A dream is not but that.
Out cold or wide awake,
I see you lying on your back.

Pillow talk and a hush-hush
Won’t sound like, but look like much.
Make your white bride rush to blush
By the sweet scent of a violent touch.

The sound is like a crimson red
Beating pulse & one short breath
Catching on the words he said,
Their love had met a bloody death.

Now I sit & wait on wings
At these words I must rejoice.
They seem to me the sweetest things.
Now I must only find my voice…

The time is now! Do not delay!
I can express my deepest thought.
Be not left a tattered fray!
Oh! Wild bird, he shall be caught!

A broken wing & trampled kiss,
Holstering sling & round turned cheek.
The cold sweat & sleep she’d miss…
Left broken, dull & wholly meek.

What could she, but sit and weep?
She bid him, her soul to take.
Carnaged love, roused from her sleep
As love died, she’s sound awake.

Why The Caged Bird Sings C.j.Sanders ’11

•11/02/2011 • Leave a Comment

Like the cigarettes you toke,
Your breath polutes my lungs.
See that? The heart you broke?
A rancid taste left on our tongues.

I sit in my room as the flashbacks begin.
Recall how you spiked my blood with venom,
Soft destrucitve touches on my porcelain skin.
Emploding my nerves, leaving me numb.

I completely understand, yet I’m still so confused.
What did I do? What could possibly be wrong with me?
Left feeling abandoned, broken, and bruised.
Don’t you know I could have set you free?

I understand now, why the caged bird sings.
I empathise completely, stuck alone in my head.
I feel like I’ve got nothing but these useless, broken wings.
So trapped and confined, I’d almost rather be dead.

Take your last strike, and make it count.
One last kiss, one last embrace.
The tiny shreds of my heart abound.
Then I’ll remember to forget your face.

Weeping C.j.Sanders ’11

•10/27/2011 • 2 Comments

I wept for you like one weeps for a lover.
A love lost; one like no other.
A gentle caress, one like the softest kiss.
This is something I should never have to miss.
Miss it I do, and forever, I will.
Your memory, it haunts me. Haunts me still.

The pain will eventually ebb and subside,
But forever I’ll long for you by my side.
A half empty bed, a fully empty heart.
I can’t believe that fate tore us apart.
My tears, they freeze in the blistering wind.
They remind me of you and just how I have sinned.

I think of us and how it should be,
But now all you’ve left is my memory and me.
Some dead part of me lies in wait,
Still strung on that hook you knowingly bait.
I must kill this demon you’ve left me be,
But who could have known my demon was me.

I’ll burn the pictures and forget your name.
But this hole in my life is from you, and I blame.
So go on like you do and live your precious life.
Go settle down with your kids and your wife.
They say it will take time, and in time I’ll be fine.
But it’s incomprehensible that you’ll never be mine.

I’m a figment, one tattered stray,
And to no god do I easily pray,
As you know I do not completely believe,
But from this hope I do so wholly grieve.
Someday you’ll understand. Someday you’ll see
That you made the wrong choice; you should have chose me.

If I Was ~ C.j.Sanders ’11

•09/05/2011 • Leave a Comment

If I was blind,
my eyes would miss staring back into those that captivate me so.

If I was deaf,
my ears would miss that voice and laughter that they insatiably thirst for.

If I was mute,
my lips would miss saying all the right words to the perfect man.

If I was crippled,
my body would miss the way your body molds to mine when you hold me close.

If I was dead,
my heart would miss the way your presence makes it throb with desire deep in my chest.

If I am to remain alone,
I may as well be all these things.

C.j.